It probably happens to more bloggers than we realize, and yet it never ceases to amaze me how many different parts of the world are represented when I check the analytics for State of the #Shea…

Poland! The Phillippines! Italy! France! El Salvador! Pakistan!

And yes, plenty from the US and Canada as well, but I mention this not to humblebrag– as I said, anyone with an active blog is likely amazed to see all the international eyes that read it. What is exciting to me is that so many come here and read this (or any) English-language blog when English isn’t their first language. 

If that is you: whether you happen to know English ALSO, or are translating this into your own language of choice, THANK YOU. It’s very gratifying to have you along for the ride!

But I’m actually saying all this on my way to joking about the English language for a bit. 

I suppose every language has words in its vocabulary that only differ by a letter or two, but mean VERY different things. In fact, if you think of an example in your own language, I’d love it if you left a comment about it! Teach us something new!

But with regard to the “Second Chances” episode of TGD, I’m talking about ASS vs. ASSET. OK, I’m actually thinking of a few different variations:

• Pain in the ASS (or PITA, as I’ll be using)

• Asshole

• Ass_____ (some would say the possibilities are endless as long as “ass” is leading the way)

All are generally considered derogatory terms, as you probably know, except for ASSET. By adding the “e” and the “t”, you suddenly have the word that many an employee would love to see on a personal evaluation by a superior. An ASSET brings value. An ASSET is someone or something you want to keep around. 

As for “ass”-anything– it probably depends on the person, or maybe where they come from, as to which variation is the biggest insult. But to me, a PITA is a short-term issue; a pain in the posterior as opposed to the ENTIRE posterior– the ASS itself– which is a bigger problem.

The worst (for obvious reasons, I’d say) is “asshole.” Which is probably why you’ll hear “Ass” on broadcast TV in the US, but not “asshole.” At least, not yet.

(Incidentally, a guy I used to know once described his abhorrent behavior, in retrospect, as that which made him “the asshole of assholes.” I can assure you that he was too kind to himself in that description… but, I digress!)

I actually tried to do a little research for this part of the post as I sought out an article comparing all the ass-related articles of slang– but, remember back in the S4 “Parenting” episode when Shaun was in search of a restaurant and he told Lea “I searched ‘eating meat near me’ and that was a mistake”...? Well… it went something like that. 

So, instead–! I’ll just tell you that I’ve tried to separate TGD’s characters in terms of the PITAS and the ASSETS– at least where this episode is concerned. 

I trust I’ll hear from you if you dispute any of these classifications, yes?

Let’s see what we’ve got–

Now, ABOUT Shaun and Glassman in “A Blip”...

Like you, I’m intrigued and a little concerned about Glassman. After all, missing two sutures does sound noteworthy, especially taking Glassman’s medical history into consideration. But equally intriguing, to me, is the fact that the Glassman/Shaun story appears nowhere in the synopsis for “A Blip.” That’s not to say it isn’t significant– I don’t think the #Jasher situation was a part of the synopsis for “Second Chances/Past Regrets” either, and it was just as important to me as the Shaun/Jared headliner. But (crossing fingers) if there IS some kind of recurrence of Glassy’s cancer on the horizon, I can’t imagine it overshadowing the arrival of Baby #Shea in the remaining 5 episodes of the season.

I’ll prepare to cry nonetheless.

Who do YOU identify as the asses/assets/PITAs of “Second Chances/Past Regrets”? And what do you think of everyone’s respective status at this point in the season? Hit up the comments and let me know!